Ok, so I know I said I wouldn’t talk about the divorce as much anymore, but there’s something that’s been really bothering me the last couple weeks and I want to get it off my chest.

I realize during a divorce, it seems like friends get split up almost like children. He takes his friends and family and she takes hers. When the topic of the divorce was brought up, I made mention of this to a few people that I’d become close to because of him, including a couple members of his family. Everyone said the same thing: that they didn’t want to be in the middle, they would always think of me as family, would always be my friend.

Well, of all those people, only one has stayed my friend. It wasn’t the person I expected it to be, but I will say it was a pleasant surprise because this person got me through a lot of hard times over the last 9 months and has still been here for me through all this. The person I thought would still be my friend, who kept saying they (yes, it’s the pronoun game) didn’t want to get in the middle and didn’t have loyalty either way because they had known both Jeremy and I almost the same amount of time, has been completely gone from my life.

On the one hand, I say good riddance. I have never had the need in my life for fair-weather friends. But on the other hand, my prevailing feeling is sadness, because I thought this person was a friend, a real friend. I thought of them as family and feel betrayed.

I think what it boils down to is the part that upsets me most and this is it: my friends and family don’t see this divorce as anyone’s fault, especially among those who know Jeremy. They realize that neither of us was probably ready for the kind of commitment a marriage requires. They know the things I’ve done and they know the things he’s done and they don’t sit and pass judgement. Maybe I’m being unreasonable, but I am truly hurt that certain people that I thought cared about me, who said they cared about me, and most importantly who I care about, can eliminate me from their lives so easily. As if I didn’t feel rejected enough by Jeremy, I feel rejected by people I considered family.

This post isn’t meant to bad mouth anyone, I want that made clear because some people have misconstrued things I’ve said in the past, I just wanted to talk about how I’m feeling at the moment. I’m a girl, that’s what we do.