Gone, daddy, gone
Posted by Gypsy on Jun 29, 2006
They turned off my Internet at work!!!!! It would seem that the information management people were given an order to go through all the computers on post and see who’s been using the Internet improperly (such as surfing too much during the duty day) and now another coworker and myself have been shut down. Today was the most boring day of work in my entire life. I seriously fell asleep because I was so bored and had absolutely nothing to do.
See, I’m in the middle of this project that is at the reviewing stage. So I have no real work to do, hence me using the Internet improperly all day long. So I understand why they shut me down, but still, they can’t even tell me when I’ll be able to get back on. On top of it, my coworker actually had work to do, but needed to get on the Internet to do it. So he’s just fucked for doing anything. We finally just all left a little bit before 3 because there was nothing we could do. I fucking hate the Army sometimes. (Well most of the time, but more today than usual).
At least I can end my day on a fun note as I’m off to the bar tonight with some friends. Although, really, that’s how I’ve been ending everyday lately. It’s just to lonely and empty here in this apartment and while I usually don’t mind it, once in awhile I need to go on a social binge. I haven’t been drinking a lot while I’m out, but it’s been nice to be social.
Subject closed
Posted by Gypsy on Jun 27, 2006
I don’t think I’ve ever been at such a loss for something to say as I am at this moment. I’ve been sitting here all day trying to figure out what I’m going to write and all I get is an incoherant, jumble of words, none of which can completely convey exactly what I’m feeling right now and have been feeling for the last 24 hours. I’ve written rants. I’ve written analogies. I’ve written sentence after sentence and while it conveys my meaning, it’s not how I want to say it.
From now on, my marriage, my divorce and Jeremy are no longer topics of discussion when talking to me or around me. I’ve been using my friends for support through all this, but now I’m suffering the consequences. From now on, this is something I’ll deal with on my own.
There are people out there who dislike Jeremy. There are people out there who dislike me. But the fact is they only dislike us based on what the other has told them. They are only getting one side of the story. I don’t know what Jeremy has said to people, but I know I’ve done my best to make it clear that neither of us is at fault more than the other. Since people aren’t willing to accept or understand that, I’m eliminating it as a topic of discussion.
Those who continue to discuss it, regardless of who you are talking to, realize that you aren’t in any position to because you don’t know the full story. The only people that should even be talking about it are Jeremy and myself, and since Jeremy is not speaking to me at the moment, that won’t even happen.
I’m not going to let drama take over my life. I had a great time last weekend with no drama. And I plan for that to continue. The past couple days have been a mess, but I refuse to let that be my life. That’s not who or what I am. So say whatever you need to get out in the comments of this or any other post, but don’t expect me to come discuss it with you. This subject is closed.
Quick alibi: I may still discuss it some in my blog posts, but those will remain vague and strictly factual just like they have in the past. This is still my forum to say what I want, but I won’t discuss it outside this public forum and will continue to discuss it with the same respect I always have.
Spoke to soon?
Posted by Gypsy on Jun 26, 2006
I don’t know who did it or what exactly they did, but Jeremy’s pissed at me and doesn’t even want to be my friend anymore. C’mon people, I know you all care about me and are just looking out for me, but doing something to start shit isn’t the way to do it. Jeremy and I have been working really hard to stay friends and now that’s been severly compromised. I know a lot of you may not like him, but I’m a big girl and can take care of myself. Don’t attack him thinking you are helping me because you are just making things worse.
Friends indeed
Posted by Gypsy on Jun 25, 2006
With everything I’ve been going through over the last couple months, moreso in the last couple weeks, I’ve been truly lucky to have an awesome support network of friends there to take me out, cheer me up and make me realize that things are getting better for me. For someone who was once told she was so horrible a person that she didn’t deserve to even have friends, I’ve been lucky enough to have a group of them so fiercely loyal and so amazing they’ll do anything to make sure I’m happy, as they all know I’ll do for them.
Proof of that was really seen over the last weekend, when I was able to spend time with or at least talk to most of those friends. I spent my Friday and Saturday nights with those friends that are here. I had such an awesome time. Friday night I went out with my friend Joey, hanging out with a bunch of other friends and then meeting up later with Michelle, who has quickly become one of my closest friends. It was actually a pretty low key night because I was still a bit tired from adjusting to my medications and Joey not feeling too well, so we both called it a night kind early, but I still had fun and was able to rest up for Saturday night, which wasn’t an early night by any means. Again, we ended up at the bar, minus Joey (who was still kinda sick) and plus Kerri.
Michelle was on a mission. I think she may have went up to every single guy in that bar she knew (plus a few she didn’t know) to tell them how gorgeous she thinks I am, getting no less than five of them to spend a good portion of the night trying to hit on me. While I’m not interested in any of them like that, it was quite the ego boost.
On top of two awesome nights out, I got to talk on the phone and via instant message with a couple of my closest friends, the ones I never get to see. I think that may have been the best pick-me-up of all. One is going through a rough time, so I got to be there for her, returning the favors I owe everyone who has been there for me lately. She did something this weekend that made me extremely proud of her and though I won’t write about it here because it’s her story to tell, I hope she knows how proud I am that she faced something she was really scared of. The other cheers me up whenever I speak to her. I would jump in front of a bullet for this girl because I owe her more than I can say for everything she’s done for me. The last is someone who’s stood by me through this all, even though it may not have been the popular thing to do. For that I’ll always be in debt to her. I’m lucky to have her as a friend, even though she’s more than a friend, she’s my sister.
Right now, I’m just feeling really good about life. I have great friends and family who I love more than anything. And while I say they are fiercely loyal to me, I must also mention that I’m just as loyal to them. I would do anything for these people, the ones I’ve mentioned here and the ones I haven’t but are just as important to me. And while I hope none of them go through tough times, I hope they all realize that if they do, I’ll be right here to return the support they have so generously given me.
