Subject closed
Posted by Gypsy on Jun 27, 2006
I don’t think I’ve ever been at such a loss for something to say as I am at this moment. I’ve been sitting here all day trying to figure out what I’m going to write and all I get is an incoherant, jumble of words, none of which can completely convey exactly what I’m feeling right now and have been feeling for the last 24 hours. I’ve written rants. I’ve written analogies. I’ve written sentence after sentence and while it conveys my meaning, it’s not how I want to say it.
From now on, my marriage, my divorce and Jeremy are no longer topics of discussion when talking to me or around me. I’ve been using my friends for support through all this, but now I’m suffering the consequences. From now on, this is something I’ll deal with on my own.
There are people out there who dislike Jeremy. There are people out there who dislike me. But the fact is they only dislike us based on what the other has told them. They are only getting one side of the story. I don’t know what Jeremy has said to people, but I know I’ve done my best to make it clear that neither of us is at fault more than the other. Since people aren’t willing to accept or understand that, I’m eliminating it as a topic of discussion.
Those who continue to discuss it, regardless of who you are talking to, realize that you aren’t in any position to because you don’t know the full story. The only people that should even be talking about it are Jeremy and myself, and since Jeremy is not speaking to me at the moment, that won’t even happen.
I’m not going to let drama take over my life. I had a great time last weekend with no drama. And I plan for that to continue. The past couple days have been a mess, but I refuse to let that be my life. That’s not who or what I am. So say whatever you need to get out in the comments of this or any other post, but don’t expect me to come discuss it with you. This subject is closed.
Quick alibi: I may still discuss it some in my blog posts, but those will remain vague and strictly factual just like they have in the past. This is still my forum to say what I want, but I won’t discuss it outside this public forum and will continue to discuss it with the same respect I always have.
It’s funny because I can’t think of anyone who REALLY dislikes you. Especially not to the point of trying to cause you grief. So that should say something of what I’ve been telling everyone. The fact that ALL of your friends dislike me and several have tried to get me in trouble, show just what you have been saying and doing.
This is another reason that I’m cutting ties with you, Christina. Like I said before, I don’t care what your friends think about me, I never have, but the level of respect you have shown me throughout the marriage and especially since the divorce shows me how much my friendship actually matters to you.
I’m sorry it has to end this way, but I think eventually you’ll learn that it is petty and juvenille to talk shit about someone behind their back. I think eventually you’ll mature and realize that even though you say you don’t, you love drama and immerse yourself in it and the people who cause it.
Jeremy, she never has. People (the people I know, I should say) have formed their opinions with things they have read or overheard in conversations the both of you have had.
She has done nothing wrong. And I am truly sorry to be the root of this problem. I have sent you an email detailing everything I want to say to you about the matter, and I want to tell you it is not her fault.
Take anything and everything out on ME, not her. It really is not something she was apart of. I am the asshole here. I was the bad friend here.
She was not. Please do not cut ties with her, because she DOES care about you regardless of what anyone else thinks.
And Christina, I am so so so so so so sorry. There is nothing I can say to you to make this right. I just wish there really was such thing as a take back. Because I would do it in a heartbeat.
“There are people out there who dislike Jeremy…the fact is they only dislike (them) based on what (I have) them. They are only getting one side of the story.”
No, they didn’t just read and make their own opinions, Cori. She says she has told them shit about me, most likely exagerations (as is normal with her), that have made people not like me. People we know mutually here have told me that she talks shit behind my back. I’m not a fucking moron, Cori. I have known Christina longer than you and I know how she deals with situations like this.
If you think Christina has done nothing wrong then you obviously don’t know the full story. Mind your own business. This isn’t just because of the bullshit you tried to pull, Cori.
This demonstrates exactly why I ask everyone to just mind their own fucking business.
Revised quote from above.
“There are people out there who dislike Jeremy…the fact is they only dislike (him) based on what (I have) told them. They are only getting one side of the story.”
There’s a difference between venting and talking shit. I vented. Then made it clear that I still cared about you and was just upset.
Ok, Jeremy, I should have been more clear. And no, I do not think you are a moron.
The people *Christina and I* associate with have not had these conversations about you.
I have, however, spent at least one phone call with her in tears over you. She still cares for you, a lot.
My saying Christina has done nothing wrong was meant for the situation I created, myself. Do not be fooled, though, I have sat though many conversations with her where she has talked about how much she cares for you.
Women tell their friends things, and it is not always meant to discredit the other party. They just need to get those feelings out in a healthy way.
This will be the last thing I say about this, because you’re right, I have gotten too involved in this. I have been defending Christina to a point where I have gotten into this too deep.
And for that, I apologize to you both. Sincerely.
You do know her more than I do, and there is an entire half of this story I do not know. But, I am going to leave this be. I am going to continue talking to Christina, and we are not going to ever talk about this again. There are many other things she and I have in common, and we have built an incredible friendship off of that.
I am sorry for every little thing (and I do not mean my actions were “little” please do not confuse that) I have done within the past day or so.
I appreciate your apology. You trying to get me in trouble isn’t what pissed me off. Like I said, it is when people don’t know when to mind their own business that irks me.
If Christina knows one thing about me it is that I expect people to do the right thing when they are wrong and apologize. I don’t care if you talk shit about me all day as long as you have a reason and proof to back it up. But when you don’t know me and you start talking shit, that’s where I draw the line. Thank you for being mature and realizing your error.
I am undecided where mine and Christina’s friendship will go after this. Like I said, it wasn’t just this episode that brought me to my decision, but a number of things that have been happening recently. The best course of action is drop the load right now.
One parting thought on my reason to cut ties right now. Stress is like a glass of water. It doesn’t weigh much and you can hold it in your hand for a few minutes with no problem at all. But when you hold it for a few hours, a few days, it becomes heavier and heavier until you can’t hold it any more and the glass shatters. I’m putting down the glass for a little while.
“One parting thought on my reason to cut ties right now. Stress is like a glass of water. It doesn’t weigh much and you can hold it in your hand for a few minutes with no problem at all. But when you hold it for a few hours, a few days, it becomes heavier and heavier until you can’t hold it any more and the glass shatters. I’m putting down the glass for a little while.”
You know what? I agree with that statement 100%, and it is an analogy I am going to use in the future.
You are so right to not let drama rule your life. Stand up for what you believe in and what you want. The rest will fall into place. Being happy should be your first and only priority.
Not that I’m always the best at taking my own advice!