There’s a tradition my family takes part in every year that is always the highlight of my Christmas season. On Christmas Eve, my immediate family gets together to celebrate my mom’s birthday, which is Christmas day. But that’s not what I’m talking about. On Christmas Eve, my family opens up the gifts sent to us from my mom’s father and step-mother, aka Granddaddy and that woman he’s married to.

No one really likes that woman. They’ve been married a bunch of years now, but she’s never bothered to take the time to get to know any of us. This woman is notorious for giving the worst Christmas gifts ever. One year, she gave us all sweatshirts with doilies on them. Even worse, under where the doilies are, she had cut out the backing, making it so there were a bunch of tiny holes on the front of the shirt. Other times she just got the sizing off or completely forgot just how old any of us were. I’d be more specific, but after taking a poll of everyone, I’ve discovered we’ve all blocked out all those memories.

This year didn’t disappoint, as my mom got the scariest holiday sweater ever. Being the type of people who make the best of everything, we had a little fun:

First off, my mom, the birthday girl, in the best birthday present ever:

My sister-in-law, Chryssie, loves the balls:

My sister, the model:

The back just increased the amazingness of it:

Even my dad got in on the fun:

And so they don’t get mad I embarrassed them all on the Internet and left myself out, here’s me: