Today, my baby sister, Samantha, graduated from high school. Honestly, there was a point when I thought she might follow in my footsteps and not graduate high school. Thankfully, she got smart and made it through. Not only did she make it through, but managed to become a certified nursing assistant and an emergency medical technician while she was at it. When I was 18, I was drinking and being a jackass. Clearly, my sister has a level of maturity not found in most people her age. And I mean this in a good way.

Samantha, I’m so very, very proud of you. Now don’t go to college and fuck it up. Learn from my mistakes and keep on doing what you’re doing and you will go far. Yes, it’s cliche, but it’s true.

Congratulations!